How many church people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Charismatics: Only one. Hand’s already in the air. 

Roman Catholics: None. They use candles. 

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. 

Free Church of Scotland: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off. 

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how 
much they liked the old one better. 

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how 
to do it. 

Church of Scotland: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three 
committees to approve the change.  

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change. 

Methodists: 10 One to change the bulb. Nine to attack the preacher, because someone’s grandmother gave that bulb to the church!! 

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

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October 22, 2012 · 11:28

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