Charismatics: Only one. Hand’s already in the air.
Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Free Church of Scotland: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how
much they liked the old one better.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how
to do it.
Church of Scotland: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three
committees to approve the change.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Methodists: 10 One to change the bulb. Nine to attack the preacher, because someone’s grandmother gave that bulb to the church!!
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.