Once or twice got a phone call from a prospective bride who announced “I’m getting married” (to which this cynical auld Meenister would answer “How nice”.) She would then continue, “And we’d like you to perform the ceremony” (“What a kind thought” – no, I didn’t actually say that).

“Let me get my diary”

“It’s the whatever of July at 3 o’clock”

“Sorry, I’m already doing a wedding at that time”

Silence – then panic- “But we’ve already booked the reception!”

“How about getting in touch with one of my colleagues to see if he or she is free?”

“No, I really wanted your church as it’s got a long aisle to walk down!”


from a colleague:  Prospective Bride on phone : “My fiancee and I have been to see your Church from the outside…does it have a centre aisle….you are one of a few whom we are considering for our wedding venue….how much does it cost?…..”


When I was minister at Inveresk Kirk, which some of you who have visited will know is rather large, at one particular rehearsal (the bride was a parishioner) the lassie looked around in awe and said “It’s awfy big!”  That was her first visit! And after the wedding, never came back


Once had a wedding in an hotel – after the ceremony, the marriage party walked the few yards down the street to have their photographs taken outside the nearby church


Phone call: “Could we get married on Christmas Day morning at 11 o’clock?”

“Sorry, there’s a Service on then”

“Well, maybe afterwards – at our house – all the family will be there”

“Would love to, but I’ve got family and relatives coming to the Manse”

“You could always have your Christmas Day lunch with us”

“Sorry, don’t think that’s possible  – look, how about Boxing Day instead?”

“Can’t – that’s when the baby’s due!”

(well, she tried again six months later, but I was away on holiday; then about a year after that and success!  The babby was now old enough to be a flower girl) 

1 Comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

One response to “Brides

  1. comment on FB by David Knight: I had a phone call a few years ago and the man said “We have driven past your church and think it looks lovely and we would like to get married in it” I inquired about the date and the couples particulars. then he said “by the way would you please leave God out of it, we don’t want a Christian marriage we just like the church” I declined


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