(any excuse to show a picture of an attractive woman – Meenister)
Fix Your Collar, Justin Welby
Our Lady of Walsingham miraculously reappears after 1000 years of silence to help the Apostle to the English fix his clericals.
An Open Letter to Archbishop Justin
I wish to send my most sincere, if overdue, congratulations to you, Archbishop Justin, on your election to the Primate of All England and the spiritual head of the Global Anglican Communion. Your story is rather inspiring; from oil man to Archbishop in no time. You surely have your work set out for you. Following in the footsteps of giants, holding an unruly communion together, and the care of some 80 million souls in this troubling age are no small tasks. That being said, there is one matter that must be discussed.
In your tenure as Archbishop of Canterbury, it has come to my attention that your collar is in a perilous state. Whether speaking with the media or performing liturgical tasks, it seems to precariously hang from your neck: perhaps you are metaphorically mirroring the flexibility of Anglican practice or the loose bonds of affection found in the Anglican Communion.
Nevertheless, this is an intervention of love. For the sake of all in the Church of England and in our Communion, we ask that you properly adjust your clericals. This blog will be utterly destroyed with the fulfillment of one of the following two conditions:
(1) you diligently push in your collar and show due progress in this task;
(2) you inform us (privately or publicly) of a medical condition that would make carrying out this task an impediment.
We pray for your leadership as well as your clericals.
Our Lady of Walsingham
Nov 17th, 2013
Press it in ever so slightly, your Grace. Fix your collar
Nobody disputes that the Cross of Nails makes for powerful, profound pectoral jewellery. But the collar’s another story.
Some directions, your Grace:
1) Rotate finger 180°.
2) Draw finger towards neck.
3) Gingerly press collar.
Your Grace, the Canons of the Church explicitly state, “insofar as he carries out licit practice of his holy orders, the clergyman’s collar must remain flush against his neck, with minimal protrusion.” Well, maybe not, but please fix your collar.