Behold, I make all things new…

A somewhat dowdy middle-aged woman was devasted when her husband of almost thirty years ran off with an attractive blonde more than half her age.

Depressed and stressed, with tension gripping her, she suffered a heart attack, and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”

God said, “No, you have another 38 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it….and, who knows, perhaps even meet a “toy boy”. A new life beckoned.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 38 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied: “I didn’t recognize you.”

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Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

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