Author Archives: meenister

About meenister

An ordained Church of Scotland Minister since 1974. Started off in Doune which is near Stirling, before moving to Trinidad for four years; on my return to Scotland, I was a rural minister in Perthshire and then was asked to become Minister at St.Michael's Inveresk where I spent eleven happy years. A short ministry in Guernsey followed and since 1999, I was a full time healthcare Chaplain in the town of Dumfries in SW Scotland, retiring from that post in December 2012. I started this blog on 6 May 2012, soon after my wife, Helen, was diagnosed with secondary cancer - it was a sort of diversion and still is, following her death on 16 June. I hope it shows that there is a lighter side to religion, that it's not gloom and doom and that we can sometimes laugh at ourselves in a self-effacing way. Some posts are, however, I hope provoking and food for thought.

Love is all you need……..and football

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September 19, 2017 · 21:57

Heaven

A minister was testing children in a Glasgow Sunday School class to see if they understood the concept of getting into Heaven.

He asked them, “If I sold my car, all my CDs, books, iPad and PC, and everything I have, had a huge jumble sale, and gave all my money to charities and to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”

As one, the children yelled,”NO!!!”

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the Kirk lawn, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”

Again: “NO!!!”

By this time, the minister was starting to smile.

“Well then, suppose I was kind to animals, gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my wife, would that work?”

Again, they all answered: “NO!!!”

Now, the minister was bursting with pride for them

He continued, “Then how can I get into Heaven?”

A six year old boy shouted out…………

“Ye’ve got tae be deid furst!”

 

 

 

 

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Behold! I make all things….the same old

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September 11, 2017 · 16:08

Hurricane Irma

During the devastation in Florida, caused by Irma, a curfew was imposed during the hours of darkness.

Sadly, a criminal element took advantage of the abandoned streets and looted empty homes and businesses.

The police shot ten looters during the night in Miami.

The crooks arrived at the Pearly Gates, but St Peter refused them entry into Heaven, because of their evil and callous behaviour.

Five minutes later, he reports to God, “they’ve gone”

God, “All of them?”

“Nope!” replies Peter, “The bleedin’ Gates!”

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“Footprints in the Sand”

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September 4, 2017 · 19:57

GodPad

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August 26, 2017 · 16:26

For National Dogs Day (26 August)

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August 26, 2017 · 14:18

Church notice board

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August 19, 2017 · 14:49

Greyfriars Church, Dumfries

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I scream…..

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August 19, 2017 · 10:24