Category Archives: The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic
A minister was testing children in a Glasgow Sunday School class to see if they understood the concept of getting into Heaven.
He asked them, “If I sold my car, all my CDs, books, iPad and PC, and everything I have, had a huge jumble sale, and gave all my money to charities and to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”
As one, the children yelled,”NO!!!”
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the Kirk lawn, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
By this time, the minister was starting to smile.
“Well then, suppose I was kind to animals, gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my wife, would that work?”
Again, they all answered: “NO!!!”
Now, the minister was bursting with pride for them
He continued, “Then how can I get into Heaven?”
A six year old boy shouted out…………
“Ye’ve got tae be deid furst!”
During the devastation in Florida, caused by Irma, a curfew was imposed during the hours of darkness.
Sadly, a criminal element took advantage of the abandoned streets and looted empty homes and businesses.
The police shot ten looters during the night in Miami.
The crooks arrived at the Pearly Gates, but St Peter refused them entry into Heaven, because of their evil and callous behaviour.
Five minutes later, he reports to God, “they’ve gone”
God, “All of them?”
“Nope!” replies Peter, “The bleedin’ Gates!”