Somewhere in the Deep South…..
The preacher rose with a red face. “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumour that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family.”
No one moved.
The preacher continued, “Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.”
Again all was quiet. Slowly a “drop dead” gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and voice quivered as she spoke.
“Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I told a couple of friends you were a “Wizard under the sheets”.
The Meenister’s Log
A saintly old pillar of the Kirk died
During his many years in the Pulpit, he had fulminated against the permissive society, pornography and sex in all its shapes and forms
He had led a moral and blameless life, and on his deathbed, one of his Elders said that, given the morally strong and courageous man he was, he would surely get his reward in heaven.
Soon after this saint of the Kirk died, one of his flock passed away and he too reached heaven.
He said to St.Peter – “where is our beloved auld meenster? He must be somewhere enjoying the delights of this Paradise– he must have been given all the joys that only heaven can provide.”
And then suddenly he saw the old Reverend underneath a beautiful tree… — with the most beautiful, nubile, gorgeous young woman sitting in his lap, both naked, hugging each other!
The Kirk member fell at the feet of the old minister & said , “Reverend Sir, God is so pleased with you, he has given you this lovely young woman as a reward!”
The auld Meenister looked at him and said, ” She is not my reward, I am her punishment!