After Onan’s brother Er was slain by God, his father Judah told him to fulfill his duty as a brother-in-law to Tamar, by giving her offspring. However, when Onan had intercourse with Tamar, he withdrew at themoment of ejeculation – coitus interruptus – since any child born would not legally be considered his heir. He disregarded the principle of a levirate union, so God slew him.
Dorothy Parker named her Budgerigar “Onan” – because he was always spilling his seed on the ground
A devout Catholic carpet layer had been working hard all day on Ascension Day installing wall-to-wall carpet.
When he noticed a lump under the carpet in the centre of the living room, he felt his shirt pocket for his pack of cigarettes, and sure enough, they were gone.
He wasn’t about to undo all his hard work for a pack of cigarettes, so he got a two-by-four and tamped down the lump until it was smooth.
He packed up his tools and carried them to the truck. Then two things happened simultaneously. He saw his cigarettes on the front seat, and the lady of the house called to him, “Have you seen my budgie anywhere?”
“He must have got out” lied the carpet-fitter,”and flown skyward; but with this being the Feast of the Ascension,let’s pray that he’s in a better place!
- Ascension Day (frstephensmuts.wordpress.com)