Tag Archives: Chistianity

Trump’s call to whatever

 

A Satirical Look at His Liberty Speech
GrAl / Shutterstock.com
By Ed Spivey Jr. 01-19-2016

Donald Trump accidentally struck a dissonant chord this weekend when speaking before students at Liberty University, a major Christian college known for turning Bible-believing, Christ-centered young people into loyal Republicans. Liberty is a required stop for all presidential candidates wishing to establish their evangelical bonafides in the Virginia town of Lynchburg, which most white people read as “Welcomeburg,” but people of color, not so much.

Trump held his audience spellbound for the first part of his message, which included a reference to Jesus turning over the voter registration tables in the temple, but then he invoked a scripture from the second book of Corinthians. “Two Corinthians 3:17, that’s the whole ballgame.”

As sympathetic as Liberty University students would be to sports metaphors — most in the audience were waving their “Christianity is Number One” foam fingers — Trump’s use of “two” instead of “second” prompted laughter from some of the students in attendance, students who would no doubt be disciplined later, perhaps by having their guns confiscated for a semester, leaving them defenseless against professors who insist on assigning term papers of more than 140 characters.
Trump quickly recovered, however, and talked directly to the evangelistic impulses of the group: “Jonathan Three Hundred and Sixteen has always meant a lot to me. That’s the Great Commission, a really fabulous commission, which normally is 3 percent of the final sales price, depending on the broker, although you might be able to squeeze out another half point.
“That was Jesus talking, terrific guy, Hispanic, I think, but since he’s the Son of God, I invited him to my first wedding. Super guy, ate a lot of shrimp, as I recall, and we were running out but He made some more. He offered to make more wine, too. He’s like a one-man Costco. But I told him he didn’t need to, because we have fabulous caterers, really the best caterers, and he said ‘I know that, Mr. T., I know everything.’ And then he laughed.

“Marla loved Him. No wait, that’s my second wife. But everybody loved him, including Bill Clinton, who was also at my third wedding.”
Trump went on to claim that “Christianity is under siege” and that he was the only presidential candidate who understood the biblical call to whatever.

“In Second Connecticut 4:18, that’s the terrific verse about doing unto others before they read the fine print. It was written by Pontius Paul who was on the Road to Epiphany, and called all Christians to look at the mustard seed not as half empty, but as half full, and that’s so important for us today, because the country—at least the part I don’t own—is a mess, a fantastic mess. We’ve got to take it back and tell the Saudis and the U.N. we don’t want their oil or anything.”
Trump also spoke with vigor about the undocumented and vowed as president he would forcibly remove the scourge of illegal Canadians, starting with Ted Cruz.

“And China, I can negotiate with China and get a better deal because I’m a great negotiator, I’m a terrific negotiator. I even used the Lord’s Prayer after my Eye of the Needle Casino went bankrupt in Atlantic City. The Lord’s Prayer has that fabulous part about forgiving our debts, which I mentioned to the banks I owed, and I’m waiting to hear back from them. You kids can pray for that. Pray for this country, of course, which is a mess, but also for my casinos and my golf courses, which employ a lot of people, a few of them legal.”

At the end, as the students filed out after dismissal, Trump noted that “look, they’re giving me a standing ovation!”

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Thicko Palin and the Wonderful Pope Francis I

In an interview with CNN, Palin laid bare her misgivings about Pope Francis, who has impressed believers and nonbelievers alike with his humble and practical application of the gospel.

She told interviewer Jake Tapper: “He’s had some statements that to me sound kind of liberal, has taken me aback, has kind of surprised me. There again, unless I really dig deep into what his messaging is, and do my own homework, I’m not going to just trust what I hear in the media.”

She continued: “I’m kinda trying to follow what his agenda is. You know he came out with a couple of things in the media but again I’m not one to trust the media’s interpretation of somebody’s message but having read through media outlets,” the former Governor of Alaska said.

Her statements were slammed by some on social media. Radio 4 presenter Tom Sutcliffe summed it up on Twitter as: “Christianist baffled by an encounter with Christianity.”

Another wrote: “If Sarah Palin’s this shocked by Pope Francis, she’ll be catatonic when she finally gets round to reading about Jesus in the New Testament.”

Indeed, Pope Francis has impressed communities worldwide with his modest and thrifty attitude and more liberal teachings on women, abortion and homosexuality.

In July he suggested a more permissive attitude towards gay couples, remarking that it was not up to him to make judgements on the sexual orientation of clergy as long as they were searching for God and had goodwill.

He also said the Catholic Church is obsessed with abortion, gay people and contraception and its moral authority risks “falling like a house of cards” if it continues.

Amidst the furore over female clergy, Pope Francis said women have a “fundamental importance” in the Roman Catholic Church, pointing to the fact they were the “first witnesses” of the resurrection

Pope Francis has also eschewed the traditional Popemobile for a Ford Fiesta and more recently cast out the ‘Bishop of Bling’ from his German palace with its £20,000 bathtub and walk in wardrobe. There are now plans for it to be turned into a soup kitchen for poor people.

His w,ar on corruption continued on Monday when Pope Francis delivered an impassioned sermon, during which he quoted a passage from the bible that said Christians who donated money to the church but stole from the state were leading a “double life and deserved to be tied to a rock and cast into the sea”.

Sarah Palin made the comments about the ‘liberal’ Pope as part of a promotion for her new Christmas book. She kicked off the tour in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania on Wednesday. The book is called Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas and in it she claims religious freedom is under attack by the “sneering media” and atheists in general.

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