Tag Archives: clock

The Clock

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly
Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, ‘What are
all those clocks?’

St Peter answered, ‘Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been
on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your
clock move.’

… ‘Oh’, said the man. ‘Whose clock is that?’

‘That’s Mother Teresa’s’, replied St Peter. ‘The hands have never
moved, indicating that she never told a lie.’

‘Incredible’, said the man. ‘And whose clock is that one?’

St Peter responded, ‘That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his
entire life.’

‘Where’s Tony Blair’s clock?’ asked the man.

St Peter replied, ‘We are using it as a ceiling fan.’

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Sermons

Sermons

Minister who preached at great length was criticised by one of his members following a particularly long service.

He apologised and added, “but there wasn’t a clock on the wall in front of me”

“aye”, came the reply, “but there’s a calendar behind you in the pulpit!”

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September 10, 2013 · 15:53

Soul Food

A missionary once told this story;

In the 1980’s during the apartheid era in South Africa, I worked as a missionary in Zambia. My colleague, a European missionary working with me in the same mission, visited South Africa for his vacation. He came back to Zambia and was excited to tell everyone how much better South Africa was in comparison to Zambia. He told of the wonderful preaching he gave in South Africa, calling on the youth to give up their anti-apartheid struggle.

His reasoning was that since Zambia had Black majority rule and its economy was in a shambles, and since South Africa had White minority rule and its economy was doing much better, they should give up their struggle for Black majority rule unless they wanted to be poor like Zambia.

In reply I said to him, “Why don’t we do this: we lock you up in prison and then give you everything you want to eat and drink, but still keep you locked up in prison.” Immediately he got the point.

The hunger of the human spirit goes beyond the hunger for food and drink. We may have all the material food in the world but if we lack such spiritual food such as freedom, truth and love our hearts will never be satisfied.

 

The clock in a restaurant window had stopped at a few minutes past noon. One day a customer asked the owner, “Bert, do you know that the clock in your window has stopped?” Bert said he knew the clock wasn’t working.

“In fact,” he added, “it hasn’t been working for months. But you would be surprised to know how many people look at that clock, think they are hungry, and come in to get something to eat.”

 

These days, we don’t need a broken clock to remind us that we are spiritually hungry. There are so many dislocations and empty spaces in our lives that the spiritual self-help business has become a booming multi-billion- dollar industry.

We know that there’s something missing. The only real question now is how to find something that will satisfy the hunger. There’s a good deal of spiritual “fast food” out there. And then there’s Jesus, the Bread of Life

 

Scripture reference:  John 6 verses 24-35

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