Tag Archives: conference

Knickers!

The Meenister’s Log

At University, one of my fellow-students was from Sierra Leone.  Leslie was the loveliest man imaginable with a gentle humour and a kindly demeanour.

Once when two or three of us were walking back to our Halls from lectures, he kept us amused with stories from home.

One of them was about a conference where the air-conditioning broke down.

The speaker battled on manfully, but was perspiring heavily and sweat was blurring his eyes.

He went into his trouser pocket to get a handkerchief to mop his face, but instead pulled out…… and Leslie started giggling and could barely get the words out: “he pulled out a pair of lady’s knickers!”

“Knickas!!!”

He could barely ride his bike for laughing. “Lady’s knickas!!

Which brings me to this story:

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

“In honor of this holy season” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said.

“You may pass through the pearly gates” Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”

Saint Peter said “You may pass through the pearly gates”.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”

The man replied, “These are Carols.”

And So The Christmas Season
Begins……

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December 17, 2012 · 06:36

Cheerio – Minus 2

Retirement in two days time

MINUS 2

It was a pretty contentious conference and when we split into the usual “discussion groups”, I said something that was a bit provocative.

“I hope you’re not trying to mislead us” spat out a member of this little gathering with real venom in his voice.

“The Holy Spirit is my ‘Sat Nav'”, I replied.

“Huh!  My Sat Nav took me first to the local abattoir, before I got here”

“Well, at least you would have had the ‘Silence of the Lambs there, rather than the bleating of a lot of woolly minded old sheep in this place!”

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Cheerio!

The Meenister’s Log

I was ordained on 26 June 1974 and a week today (4 December 2012) I’ll be hanging up the dog collar – after thirty-eight and a half’ years’Ministry.

A story a day, until then:-

MINUS 7

1970 – first lecture in systematic theology.  As I entered the lecture room, a soto voce whisper from near the front “Look what they’re letting into the ministry these days.

From a mature student wearing a suit and tie – me: denim clad and very long hair.

Fast forward thirty-odd years, at a conference, and the same guy, but now with greasy grey hair tied in a pony-tail and wearing very casual clothes.

“You’ve come a long way from University days and the ‘Man at C & A look’ – I take it you failed to become a minister then”  (he had, of course, but it was good to wind him up)

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