Tag Archives: crying

Honesty

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above river, his axe fell into the river.  When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into the river, and he needed it to make his living.  The Lord went down in the water and appeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. “Is this your axe?”the Lord asked.

“No”, the woodcutter replied.

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. “Is this your axe?”the Lord asked.

“Yes”, he replied.

The Lord was so pleased with the man’s honesty that He gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.  Later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared again and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the river!”  The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

“Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, “Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Jennifer Lopez, you would have come up with Angelina Jolie. Then if I also said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don’t want her to share me with anyone, so THAT’S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez.”

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.. MOSTLY his lady!

That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it..

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The Exorcist

The Meenister’s Log

On one occasion, Helen, Matthew and I (I don’t think that Richard had appeared on the scene by that time) were visiting Debenhams Store in Stirling.

Helen was off looking at clothes and young Matthew had been left in my charge.

For no obvious reason, he wasn’t a very happy little boy and was crying and wailing as he tried to pull way from the parental hand-grip.

A ferocious female customer came stomping over to us and reprimanded me, saying that none of her three children had ever cried like that in public.

I reacted by putting my finger to my lips. “Hush, you’ve broken the continuity of the exercise.  I was trying to draw out the demons infesting this poor devil possessed child.  And had’t finished, when you interrupted.  The little lad has now not been fully exorcised.”

Perhaps if I were to come and lay hands on YOUR unholy trinity,it may help get rid of these satanic infestations!”

{oh, and I was wearing my clerical collar at the time…..}   

Well, it was better than telling her just to mind her own business.

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