Tag Archives: dentures

Teeth

I once had an assistant minister whose dentures didn’t fit very well.

When he offered a prayer at a Sunday service, it came out as “Let us spray” – and I was usually wiping off spittle from my spectacles as a result.

In another charge, advice from a senior elder about the evening service: just preach the same sermon from the morning – but take your teeth out!

And – I’ve told this before – a dentist friend and regular church attender told me of a minister being fitted with new false teeth; his dentist suggested that he looked into the mirror and say something to find out what he sounded like; the clergyman enunciated the words, “Jesus Christ”, to which the dentist commentated, “Oh, come on, Reverend, they’re not that bad!”

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Spare Parts


The Minister was the keynote speaker at a fund-raising event.  He was in such a hurry to get to the venue that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that had forgotten his dentures.


Turning to the man next to him, he whispered, “I forgot my teeth!”


The man said, “No problem.” With that he reached into his briefcase and pulled
out a pair of dentures. “Try these,” he said.

The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said.


The man dug around in his briefcase again. “Here, try these.”


The speaker tried them and responded. “Too tight.”


The man didn’t seem taken aback at all. He dug around in his briefcase again.


“Here. I have this pair. Give them a try.”


The Minister smiled. “They fit perfectly.” He ate his meal and gave his speech without any further troubles.


After the event concluded, the Minister went over to thank his benefactor and return the spare parts.


“I want to thank you for coming to my rescue. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”


“Oh, I’m not a dentist,” the man replied. “I’m a funeral director.”

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Dentures

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.

The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.

The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.

The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures… and I couldn’t stop talking!

 

I’m reminded of what an old elder said to me about my predecessor in a certain Charge – “for the evening service, he preached the same sermon as in the morning, but he took out his teeth & it sounded quite different!”

In my case, it’s    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YJnVN6wdvI

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