Tag Archives: Dick-Whittington

Acid Drops

A vicar on his way to Bournemouth for a few days holiday finds himself in a train compartment with some young ladies under the beady-eye of their manageress: it turns out they are to play in an all-female version of the pantomime “Dick Whittington”.

Some time into the trip the ladies are discussing their favourite panto rôles. “I usually take Cinderella” says one. “And I take Buttons” says another.

The vicar pulls out a bag of acid-drops (this was in the days when such things were sweets, not drugs) and offers them around, saying “and which one of you takes Dick ?”

“We all do, dear” says the manageress, “but not for acid drops !”

{variant on this in Kenneth Williams’ book “Acid Drops”}

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Werther’s Original

A vicar gets on a train. In his carriage are a group of five fine looking young ladies.

To break the ice, he offers round his bag of Werther’s Original and then asks, “So, what do you young ladies do?”

“We do panto. We are currently starring in Dick Whittington!” reply the girls.

“That’s fabulous. Which parts do you take?”

The first lady says, “I take the part of the cat.”

The second lady continues, “I take the part of Buttons.”

“Really?” asks the vicar. “Who takes Dick?”

“We all do!” says the third girl, “but it’ll cost you a lot more than a Werther’s Original!”

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