Tag Archives: drunk

Another “Oldie” – “Have you found Jesus?”


Jimmy who is always drunk stumbles upon a baptism on Sunday afternoon down by a river.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "My son, are you ready to 
find Jesus?"

Jimmy looks back and says, "Yes sir"

The minister then dunks him under the water and pulls him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.

"Nooo!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

"Noooo, I still didn't find him."

The preacher in disgust holds Jimmy under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you 
found Jesus yet?"

Jimmy wipes his eyes and says to the preacher..."Are you sure this is where he fell in?"


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April 3, 2014 · 18:13

In the Confessional

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,
enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his
attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, “ain’t no use knockin,
there’s no paper on this side either!”

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Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic