Tag Archives: Elder

You might be a preacher if……

You might be a preacher if… You`ve paddled at the seaside wearing a clerical collar.

You`ve ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover that you were.

You`d rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

A Sunday School picnic is no picnic.

You`ve ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

You`ve ever wanted to lay hands on an Elder, and you weren’t thinking of praying for him.

You often feel like you`re herding cats rather than shepherding sheep.

Your sermons have a happy ending; everyone’s happy when it ends!

You`ve never preached on TV, but your wife made you get down before you break something.

BUT  It’s your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable

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The Minister’s Mother

An elderly woman walked into the local country church.  The friendly elder greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.

“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row please,” she answered.

“You really don’t want to do that,” the Elder said.  “The minister is really boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.

“No,” he said.

“I’m the minister’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No,” she said.

“Good,” he answered, “Let me show you the front pew.”

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Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic