Tag Archives: elderly

Marriage

 

Joe, age 85 and Mary, age 81, decide to get married.

As they discuss their plans, as they wander through town, they pass a branch of Boots.

Joes suggests that they go in.

He addresses the man behind the counter:  “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

“How about medicine for circulation?”

“All kinds ”

“Medicine for rheumatism?”

“Definitely.”

“How about suppositories?”

“But of course”

“What about vitamins, sleeping pills?

“Absolutely.”

“Everything for heartburn and indigestion?”

“Yup”

“Incontinence pads?”

“Yes”

Joe:  “Great!  We’d like to use your shop as our Marriage gift registry.”

 

 

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June 23, 2014 · 13:54

Bums on Pews (Comment is Free – The Guardian)

It’s a common jibe that Holy Trinity Brompton, the big London evangelical church, is an upper-middle-class dating agency. The reason it stands out as one – and of course it does, like any social network full of people in their 20s and 30s – is that almost all the other Anglican congregations in London are the last places you’d go for a straight date of any class. Their congregations are either past breeding age, or off the market for other reasons.

So what makes HTB different? It’s certainly not theology. For one thing, most congregations aren’t in the least bit interested in it, which is why so many priests feel the need to lecture them all the time. Nor is it a lack of interest or energy on the part of the clergy. I am constantly astonished by the way in which the Church of England contains such a large number of clever, learned and dedicated people giving their lives to an institution that is none of those things.

To name three people in unglamorous jobs to whom I have talked in the past six months, Jane Freeman, canon at St Andrew’s Church in Wickford, Essex; Jessica Martin, priest in charge of Hinxton, Duxford and Ickleton; and Sheila Bamber, canon provost at Sunderland Minster – if their congregations aren’t growing, it’s not because of personal failings. And I believe the Church of England has some promising male clergy, too.

One theory that makes people laugh (the first stage towards becoming conventional wisdom) is that the church should simply sell off all the churches built between 1500 and 1900: if it’s not really old and beautiful, and can’t be easily heated, the building should become someone else’s problem.

But that was not necessary in the case of HTB, which has grown from some reasonably ugly Victorian buildings. So perhaps those churches to which their congregations are most attached should stay as they are and the problem lies elsewhere.

One answer seems to be that there is no one to replace the dedication and selfless labour that older women used to supply that kept the church going. Abby Day, an anthropologist in Canterbury, is doing a survey now on the last such generation of women, and they are all in their 70s. After that, the younger ones just didn’t have the time, or the sense of duty.

So the problem seems to be a shortage of young or even middle-aged people. The really interesting question is whether this is just an obvious symptom. Perhaps the real problem is the presence of the old.

When I talk to Anglican clergy about the frustrations of their work, the answer that comes back in a dozen forms is that the greatest difficulty is not with the outside world. It’s with their own congregations. I gave a talk on the apparent death of Christian England in the glorious medieval church at Evesham, and when I said that it was impossible to go back to the 50s or 60s, someone angry in the audience wanted to know why time travel wouldn’t work. That was what he thought the church should do, and must do if it was to get back to health.

Such an attitude is of course self-selecting. If the congregation is run by people who feel like that and who also pay, however inadequately, for the upkeep of the building, the vicar’s opinions are of little account. And no one who would like a church comfortable for the under-50s will ever feel at home.

In that case, the biggest threat to the future of the Church of England is in fact the congregations who now seem to hold all its remaining life.

What’s the relevance to HTB? Firstly, that its growth only started when the older sections of the congregation were packed off to a service of their own. Secondly that it was an urban church, with an available kernel of cultural Christians who wanted something less boring than they had grown up with – and who were, in the way of the upper-middle-classes, usually immigrants to London. Finally, church planting encourages and in fact demands from the young church planters the kind of lay commitment only otherwise shown by the generation of elderly women now dying out.

So the secret of getting new bums on pews may not be as simple as abolishing the pews themselves. It may be that you need to get rid of the old ones now in residence. Unfortunately, that’s only a start on the problem. It wouldn’t help to go that far and then get stuck.

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It’s An Age Thing

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Rose – an inspirational story

“Hi, handsome. My name is Rose”

The first day of university, our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.  I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being..

She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze..

‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked.

She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids….’

‘No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us.. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘ We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing..

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..’

She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those months ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give

‘Good friends are like stars….. …..You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.’

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