Tag Archives: fun

Parrots

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired.

“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. ‘Want to have some fun?'”

“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.”

“Thank you!” the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say,”Hi, we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!”

 

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Presbytery can be FUN!!!!!! (surely a contradiction in terms?)

The Meenister’s Log

When I was in the West Indies, there was a relaxed and joyful view of religion that was almost tangible.

People rejoiced in their faith and didn’t get too uptight about things  (for example in our church in Arouca we had a steel-band made up of local kids – of several denominations – and whose conductor was Catholic; at one church evening concert there we had a wonderful Pentecostal lady gospel singer  who addressed us all as “Saints”)

In this country, our church meetings can be a bit on the staid side, occasional tense and often rather tedious affairs.

Not in Trinidad!

I was a corresponding member of the Presbytery of The Presbyterian Church of Trinidad and Grenada – and they sure did things differently there!

We had Saturday morning meetings which started about 9.30.

There were no “stuffed shirts” there – in fact, I once sat beside a guy wearing an open-necked floral shirt, clerical- grey formal trousers, highly polished black dress shoes – and no socks!

At about 11 o’clock, – during the business meeting, in the middle of proceedings – some ladies apppeared bearing trays of paper plates with small sandwiches, meat pasties, and doughnut like cakes.  They went round the hall (business still being conducted) and passed around the “refreshments”.

We each also got a botttle of Coca-Cola with a straw.

All the while, as we munched and “sooked” at our Cokes, we carried on with church business.

The Moderator even placed his plate on the lectern, between bites and between addressing us

It was relazed, it was enjoyable, it was great fellowship and, yes, good business.

And then there are our own Scottish Presbyteries………..

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Dispatches – again

The Meenister’s Log

A phone call: “I wonder if you would be able to conduct my husband’s funeral?”

“Yes, of course – I’m so sorry – do you have a day and time in mind, so that I can check my diary?”

“Oh, he’s not dead yet!”   True

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