Tag Archives: money

Strange days

A strange one….yesterday I conducted a wedding at a local popular venue. First of all, the couple were delightful & the guests lovingly supportive toward the bride and groom…..but, here’s a thing: after the ceremony and the signing of the legal papers, having wished the couple well, on my way out I said to the company that I hoped that they would have a great celebration at the reception & a safe journey home. Added my thanks for their being there to rejoice with the bride and groom on that particularly happy day…… and got a round of applause!

But that’s not the strange bit. Before the service, I chatted to a new member of staff. Was asked if I were a minister (the dog-collar should have been a giveaway!) Answer: ‘yes – Church of Scotland’

‘Are you allowed to get married? Or have sex?’

‘Yes, but I’m a widower’

‘Are you in a relationship?’

‘No. And who would want a 69 year old wee fat man who is retired?’

‘Unless they’ve got loads of money’

Silence

‘You’re retired – does the Church still (?) give you a car?

“No, I’ve got my own”

“What kind?” ………..

…… so, after the ceremony, he follows me into the car park to look at my Jaguar – and asked if he could reverse it.

Saved by the piper – escorting the marriage party out. He had to dash back to get on with work.

Strange. Very strange

 

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

Buddy, can you spare a dime?

 

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

money, money, money

 

There once was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money.

He was a real miser when it came to cash. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the coffin with me. I want to take all my money to the afterlife.”

Well, one day he died.

He was laid out in the coffin; the wife was sitting there in black next to their best friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the coffin, the wife said, “Wait a minute!”
She had a shoebox with her. She came over with the box and placed it in the coffin. Then the undertakers closed it and rolled it away.

Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man.”

She said, “Yes, I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that coffin with him.”
“You mean to tell me you put every last penny of his money in the coffin with him?”

“I certainly did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a cheque”

 

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

Letter to God

image

Leave a comment

December 17, 2014 · 11:09

Francis

Francis

Leave a comment

December 3, 2013 · 17:15

The Minister, The Doctor and the Lawyer

As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.

He called for the three men he trusted most – his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.

He told them, “I’m going to give you each £30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me.”

All three  agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral,  each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside.

While riding in the limousine back from the cemetery, the Minister said, “I have to confess something to you fellows.
John Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know   he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed roof repairs very badly, and I took £10,000 of the money he gave  me and put it towards it. I only put £20,000 in the coffin.”

The Doctor then said, “Well, since we’re confiding in one  another, I might as well tell you that I didn’t put the full  £0,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could  have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine,  but the machine cost £20,000 and I couldn’t afford it then.

I used £20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I  might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith  would have wanted me to do that.”

The lawyer then said, “I’m ashamed of both of you! I put the full £30,000 into Smith’s coffin, and my personal cheque is always good.”

1 Comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

Share, Care, Joy

Leave a comment

July 26, 2013 · 14:40

Hedy Lamarr

Hedy Lamarr

I have not been that wise. Health I have taken for granted. Love I have demanded, perhaps too much and too often. As for money, I have only realized its true worth when I didn’t have it.
Hedy Lamarr

Leave a comment

June 10, 2013 · 16:05

That’s Life

That's Life

http://youtu.be/VzPOn9rYty8

 

Leave a comment

June 7, 2013 · 09:22

a story from Suspended Coffees

A true story i came across about helping another person

I was twenty-four years old and three months pregnant when my husband died.

I was a widow and an expectant mother in the same day.

We had bought a new home and I had filled our two bedroom apartment with nursery items in anticipation of moving in. Now the house would be taken away. I knew I would have to go back to my parents’ home, at least until I delivered the baby. And the shock of my husband’s sudden death had made losing the baby a very real possibility.

I moved back into my old bedroom. My twin bed, a crib and a dresser was all that could fit in the 8 x 10 foot bedroom. The rest of our furniture had to go into storage.

I was able to pay for three months worth of storage and then I would have to sell all the new furniture we had bought for our new home because I wouldn’t be able to pay any more storage fees.

I had been told I couldn’t grieve my husband’s death because the baby was so at risk of delivering early, so I focused on keeping calm. Of course, that wasn’t easy – and it only got more difficult! Because I tend not to be a person who shares my troubles much, I had told no one but my sister. She was poorer than me and could only provide moral support. My parents were just making ends meet with another mouth to feed.

Then one day in early January 1971 I received a cashier’s check for $500. I had no idea who it was from and no amount of calling the financial institution who issued it gave me any clues. I was saved! We had enough money to pay for the storage rental for nearly another year!

I was so happy I smiled all day – something I hadn’t done in months!

Then, on the same day, my husband’s boss came to the house saying he wanted to see how I was doing. I told him about the check and he was thrilled for me. I knew I had nothing coming from the company my husband had worked for because he had been there only 6 months. In order to get insurance payments or death benefits you had to be with the company for a year.

The man sat down and pulled out three envelopes. The first was what we were due of my husband’s salary for his last month. The second was a bonus check he had earned for the month before (which was originally due to be issued at the end of the year.) And the third was for $10,000, which was his death benefits with the company!

I was incredulous! How could this be? His boss explained the first two checks were due us for services rendered, and he said he used his twenty-eight years with the company to make sure they did the right thing by us.

To this day I don’t know how he did it but that money saved us.

After the baby was born (with health issues that required thirteen surgeries in two years,) I was able to stay home with him until he was healthy enough to go to a nursery school with other kids. And it allowed us to move to a little apartment of our own.

In one day we had been saved by two angels with acts of kindness that touched my very soul. It was forty-one years ago but I have never forgotten them or that day.

It was the day I smiled from morning to night!…

Please do just one nice thing for someone today , it can be however big or small you want it to be , just do it with kindness .

 

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/suspended.asp

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic