Tag Archives: off at a tangent

Children (I love them but couldn’t eat a whole one)

Both at Primary School Assemblies and in Church during the Children’s address, the subject of pets is often raised by one or more of the youngsters – for no obvious reason.
I’d be telling a story, when a little hand would be raised…..
 
…”Yes, Johnny?”
 
“I’ve got a pet hamster!”
 
“That’s lovely.  What’s his name?”
 
“Hammy”
 
(another child) “My new baby sister is called Jo”
 
(interruption) “That’s a boy’s name!”
 
“No, it’s not – and she’s going to be ‘Christed’ by the minister”
 
another interruption: “Is that when you try to drown them and then one of us gives their mum and dad one of these wee white books” (Christening New Testament)
 
“Right, boys and girls, I think we’ll just sing your hymn now, before you go to Sunday School”
 
“Has your dog had her puppies yet?”
 
“Not yet – let’s sing ‘Who put the colours in the rainbow'”  (and praying that nobody would ask about crocks of gold!)
 
 
There is, of course, the well known story of the minister asking the kids: “what’s small, brown, furry, with a big bushy tail that likes to climb trees and eat nuts?” 
 
Answer: “Jesus; it’s always bl**dy Jesus”

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