Tag Archives: parishioner

Some Pastoral Encounters

The Meenister’s Log

after giving pastoral counsel to a lady of a certain age, she said that I had helped her a lot.

“How can I possibly repay you? said she “Would you like me to (fellate is is the proper word) you”

“Oh, no” said he,  “that’s not my thing”

“Well” she said, “ma gay brither lives next door – I’m sure that you’ll have a really cosy afternoon together!”

 

 

As an assistant Minister, I visited an elderly male parishioner. After some small talk, he suddenly said “Are ye intae porn?”

“eh, no, sorry”

“I’ve got Lesbian stuff, bestiality, the works… are ye sure?”

“I’ve also got videos of Hibs stuffing Hearts”

“Sorry, as I said ‘I’m not into porn!'”

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Flood

A minister is making his way down a flooded road after a night of torrential rain. Suddenly he sees a parishioner’s head sticking out of a large puddle. He stops his car and asks the man if he needs a lift. ‘No thanks,’ says the man. ‘I’m on my bike.’

 

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