An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an aeroplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which
the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”
And then she went back to reading her book.
Two “men of the cloth” – a Kirk Meenister and a Catholic Priest – found themselves sitting on opposite sides of the aisle on a plane from Edinburgh to London.
About twenty minutes into the flight, there was some pretty severe weather, which resulted in turbulence. As it got worse, the passengers became increasingly alarmed, and even the cabin crew began to look anxious and concerned.
One of the flight attendants approached the two clergymen, and said, “Father, Reverend – this is really frightening. Do you suppose that you could do… I don’t know …. well, something, you know, sort of religious?”
So…. the Meenister leaned over to where the Priest was sitting, and said, “You take your side of the plane, and I’ll take this side”
The Priest stood up, and led the passengers on his side of the aeroplane in saying the Lord’s Prayer…….
Meanwhile, on the other side, the Meenister walked up and down the aisle, taking up a collection………
SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry, Father. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just took off with my back pack.”