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Predestination 2

The Meenister’s Log

 

Believing in predestination, a new father set out three objects on the dining room table in preparation for his son’s arrival home from school.

The first object was a £100 note. “That represents high finance. If he takes this, he’s go into business.”

The second object was a Bible. “If he takes this one, he’ll be a man of the cloth.”

The third object was a bottle of cheap whisky. “If he goes for this one, he’ll be a drunkard!”

The father and his wife then hid where they could see their son’s approach.

Soon, the son entered the room and examined each article briefly. He then checked to make sure that he was alone

Not seeing anyone, he stuffed the money in his pocket, put the Bible under his arm, and strolled out of the room draining the whiskey. The father looked at his wife and beamed, “How about that! He’s going to be a lawyer!”

 

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Predestination

The Meenister’s Log

There was a chaplain in the Confederate Army under Stonewall Jackson – the Rev Mr Dabney – a Presbyterian minister who repeatedly preached to the troops about predestination.

He would tell them not to worry about their future or fate on the battlefield because if they were predestined to be shot, a bullet would find its mark, no matter where they were; on the other hand, if they were to be spared, no bullet would hit them.

Some time later, in the heat of battle, with bullets everywhere, the chaplain hot-footed it over to the nearest and biggest tree.

A soldier who saw this said “Padre, you told us all about predestination.  Why are you seeking shelter behind this tree?”

He answered “You don’t fully understand the principles and theology of predestination. I was predestined to run behind this tree!”

 

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