Tag Archives: Questions

Exam questions

IMG_5857

Advertisements

1 Comment

April 21, 2017 · 11:17

Cheek!

After this morning’s service, there was a small group of worshippers having a chat outside.

As I approached my Landy, a lady asked, “Is that your car?” (The number plate is a bit of a giveaway)

10988467_10205998625104376_5576768916970465536_n

“Yes, and it’s in real need of a wash”

 
“Why did you buy a white one?”

 
“Because it was the only colour available in my price range”


“Why did you buy a Freelander? Why do you need one?


“I bought it because I could, and it’s British”


“Huh! It was probably made in South America”


“More like India; Jaguar/LandRover is owned by Tata – an Indian company”


“Tata?”


“Ta! Ta! to you too – lovely speaking to you!”

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

Children (I love them but couldn’t eat a whole one)

Both at Primary School Assemblies and in Church during the Children’s address, the subject of pets is often raised by one or more of the youngsters – for no obvious reason.
I’d be telling a story, when a little hand would be raised…..
 
…”Yes, Johnny?”
 
“I’ve got a pet hamster!”
 
“That’s lovely.  What’s his name?”
 
“Hammy”
 
(another child) “My new baby sister is called Jo”
 
(interruption) “That’s a boy’s name!”
 
“No, it’s not – and she’s going to be ‘Christed’ by the minister”
 
another interruption: “Is that when you try to drown them and then one of us gives their mum and dad one of these wee white books” (Christening New Testament)
 
“Right, boys and girls, I think we’ll just sing your hymn now, before you go to Sunday School”
 
“Has your dog had her puppies yet?”
 
“Not yet – let’s sing ‘Who put the colours in the rainbow'”  (and praying that nobody would ask about crocks of gold!)
 
 
There is, of course, the well known story of the minister asking the kids: “what’s small, brown, furry, with a big bushy tail that likes to climb trees and eat nuts?” 
 
Answer: “Jesus; it’s always bl**dy Jesus”

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

Questions

Some questions…..

Why do doctors and lawyers call what they do practice?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on your radio?

Why is a boxing ring square?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

There are indeed a lot of things in this life that we just really don’t understand.

But let me take it to a deeper and more disturbing level. For example, we don’t really understand disease.  Why is a youngster perfectly healthy for 13 years of his life… and then suddenly just happens to be in a place where he suddenly encounters some germ or bacteria that invades his body and destroys it? This happens in meningitis cases.

And we don’t understand accidents.  They are so random and indiscriminate. You start out a day that is like any other day… and then something happens in a matter of seconds… and life is forever different.  You can never go back beyond that accident.

On and on we could go with our list… of things we don’t really understand.

Why is there so much pain in our world? Why do good people suffer? Why do we hurt one another? Why can’t people get along? And why do some of the best prayers seem to go unanswered?

Now, all of these difficult questions prompt us to raise yet another crucial question: What can we count on from God?  When we face the troubles of the world, the heartaches of life, the tough challenges of this existence… what can we count on from God?

Christ tells a parable – a rather strange parable. It involves two people: an unjust arrogant judge and a humble but persistent woman.  The judge ignores her at first, but finally grants her justice because she is so persistent.  She won’t give up and she won’t go away… so eventually he gives in and comes through for her.

Now that’s the parable. Jesus then makes his point and he frames it in the form of a question.

He says, if an unjust judge gives this woman justice how much more will God bring about justice for his chosen ones?

A loving God hears our struggles, hears our cries of help and then responds to them.

WE CAN COUNT ON GOD TO BE WITH US WHEN WE ARE HURTING.

A tragedy left the man homeless, widowed and fatherless. Fire had swept through his house, and all was lost. It took some time for the full weigh of the loss to descend, and when it did, he was nearly crushed.

Like Job in the O.T. he would not be comforted…When the gift of shock was lifted, anger, resentment filled every waking thought.

God had not been fair to him God had not protected his family. He had not come to him with a special visitation to explain the “why” and the “what next”.The greatest temptation was to add to his losses by forfeiting his faith.

He felt justified. No one would fault him. Some might even support him. He prayed angrily now, daring god to hurt him further, challenging him if you like.

He prayed angrily, but he prayed, and God could handle it….The anguish continued to mount until one afternoon he uttered a cry so forcefully, it could only be described as a scream. No word was spoken, just a loud angry scream against the forces of heaven and hell, as if to say, “I’ve hurt all I can, and I’ve paid my dues for love…. Help me.”….

The silence that followed was quieter than silence. A peace was evident for the first time in months.

He believed, at last, that God was caring for those he lost. That God was caring for Him. that God could handle his honest anger, his honest emotions

And God can handle all our pent up emotions, feelings, denials. He is with us in our hurt and our pain.

And, although our questions may not be answered, we can come to know him as the one who always listens, always cares.

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

Quiz

Paddy wants to become a priest, so he goes to see the bishop who says “first you must answer three questions on the Bible”

Firstly, ” who was born in a stable?”

“Red Rum” says Paddy.

2nd “do you know anything about Damascus?”

“It kills 99% of all known germs” says Paddy

3rd “what happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?”

“Not sure about that” says Paddy “did Popeye kick the livin’ daylights out of them?”

 

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic