Tag Archives: sins

The Retiring Priest

The Retiring Priest

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 40 years in the parish.

A leading local figure and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.

He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife; had sex with his boss’s 17-year old daughter on numerous occasions; taken illegal drugs; had several homosexual affairs; was arrested several times for public nudity and gave a STD (sexual transmitted disease) to his sister-in-law. I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things.

But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk.

“I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived, said the politician. In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late.

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic

Our Besetting Sin

Three Army Chaplains  were sitting together during the hours before D-Day and were discussing the possibility of dying.

The Catholic Chaplain said “At a time like this,it makes me feel the need to confess; I must admit to a terrible impulse to drink. I fight it, but there’s been many a time I’ve really overdone it.”

“Well” said the Church of Scotland Chaplain, “I don’t have a problem with booze – in my case it’s gambling:the horses, dogs, you name it, and the bookies are starting to lean on me because i’m so heavily in debt.”

At that, there was a pause, and then they turned to the Anglican Chaplain and one of them said “what about you, Padre, are you troubled with a besetting sin too”

In reply, he sighed, and said, “I’m afraid so, chaps, I have this terrible, irresistible impulse to gossip”

Leave a comment

Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic