Down and out to Stephen Fry: “Any spare change, guv?”
“Yes, I have, thanks so much for asking”
Female beggar to well-dressed lady: “I haven’t eaten for three days”
“Oh, my dear, you must force yourself”
Once while walking along Shandwick Place in Edinburgh, was stopped by a pan-handler who asked for money. I didn’t have much change – probably less than 20 pence – but handed it over.
The guy looks at it and says “You mean so and so. Is that the best you can do?”
“Right, you f***er, I’ll have it back then” and chased him half way down Queensferry Street