Tag Archives: vacancy

A search committee discusses possible applicants for a vacant Charge

Adam: Good man, but problems with his wife. Also, one reference told of how his wife and he enjoy walking naked in the garden.

Noah: Former pastorate of 120 years, with no converts. Prone to unrealistic building projects.

Moses: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier position over a murder charge.

David: The most promising leader of all, until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbour’s wife.

Solomon: Great preacher, but our manse would never hold all those wives. 

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What Church Vacancy Committees REALLY think

What Church Vacancy Committees REALLY think

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March 18, 2014 · 15:24

Vacancy Committee

A congregation being vacant, the search committee invited a young minister who was looking for his first charge to come over to their church for an interview. The committee chairman began by asking how well the candidate knew the Bible.

The young chap said, “Yes, pretty well.” The chairman asked, “Which part do you know best?” He responded saying, “I know the New Testament best.” “Which part of the New Testament do you know best,” asked the chairman.

The young man said, “Several parts.”

The chairman said, “Well, why don’t you tell us the story of the Prodigal Son.”

The young man said, “Fine.”
“There was a man of the Pharisees name Nicodemus, who went down to Jericho by night and he fell upon stony ground and the thorns choked him half to death.

“The next morning Solomon and his wife, Gomorrah, came by, and carried him down to the ark for Moses to take care of. But, as he was going through the Eastern Gate into the Ark, he caught his hair in a limb and he hung there forty days and forty nights and he afterwards did hunger. And, the ravens came and fed him.

“The next day, the three wise men came and carried him down to the boat dock and he caught a ship to Ninevah. And when he got there he found Delilah sitting on the wall. He said, “Chunk her down, boys, chunk her down.” And, they said, “How many times shall we chunk her down, till seven time seven?” And he said, “Nay, but seventy times seven.” And they chucked her down four hundred and ninety times.

“And, she burst asunder in their midst. And they picked up twelve baskets of the leftovers. And, in the resurrection whose wife shall she be?”

The Committee chairman suddenly interrupted the young fellow and said to the remainder of the committee, “Colleagues, I think we ought to ask the church to call him as our minister.

He is awfully young, but he certainly does know his Bible

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