Tag Archives: vampire

At The Doctor

At The Doctor

“The patient with backache, please?”

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May 4, 2013 · 08:28

Road Rage – Christian-style

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and her make-up.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up..

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, giving the guy in front of you the finger, and cursing at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally… I assumed you had stolen the car.”

 

–ooOOoo–

 

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are travelling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windscreen

Quick, quick! shouts Sister Mary Agnes, What should we do?

Turn the windscreen wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns.

What shall I do now? she shouts.

Try the windscreen washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the Vatican, replies Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windscreen washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns.

Now what? shouts Sister Mary Agnes.

Show him your cross, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Now you’re talking, says Sister Mary Agnes. She then opens the window and shouts, Get the fck off our car, you little f****r!

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Two Nuns

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are travelling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windscreen.

Quick, quick! shouts Sister Mary Agnes, What should we do?

Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. What shall I do now? she shouts.

Try the screen washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the convent, replies Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes turns on the  washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns.

Now what? shouts Sister Mary Agnes.

Show him your cross, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Now you’re talking, says Sister Mary Agnes

She then opens the window and shouts, Get the f*ck off our car

 

 

how-to-draw-a-cartoon-vampire

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Filed under The Ramblings of a Reformed Ecclesiastic