he can’t bless SSM, but he can bless a loo. :-(

Southern Reporter 1 July 2015

Bishop earns time in loo

Episcopalian Bishop of Edinburgh, the Rt Reverend John Armes, chalked up a first when he visited Kelso on Sunday.
He had never been asked to bless the loos anywhere before and admitted that, while there wasnt an appropriate item in his book of blessings, that should be rectified in future as good toilet facilities were essential.
Fortunately he had also been asked to bless the new kitchen in St Andrews Episcopal Church and was able to adapt and extend his duties to cover the two new facilities which have been created at a cost of ?60,000.
Ensuring that as rector, the Reverend Bob King teased the church got its moneys worth out of the bishops visit, he not only blessed a new carpet for the Lady Chapel, but also authorised new chalice bearers and licensed new intercessors.
Bishop John also appointed Alan Hall as Emeritus Lay Reader one of only three in Scotland in recognition of his long-standing work for the church in Kelso.

Are you shitting comfortably?

BC

Bathroom Commode  The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week’s vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again, rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC “Does the campground have it’s own BC?” is what she actually wrote. Well, the campground owner wasn’t old-fashioned at all and when he got the letter, he just couldn’t figure out what the woman was talking about. That BC business really stumped him. After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn’t imagine what the lady meant either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply Dear Madam I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous even the normal delivery sounds can be heard. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now a supper is planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the BC. I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, this is a friendly community. Sincerely,  Campground Owner