14 Things the Bible Says NOT to Do, But Hypocritical Bible-Thumpers Do Anyway

copyright reserved – Posted by: John Prager in Church and State, Noteworthy News May 17, 2014

The Bible bans a lot of things. Just ask right-wingers when they use it to defend their incessant attempts to discriminate against the LGBT community. As we all know, putting one’s devil stick in another man’s hell-hole is forbidden by the Bible–but other stuff is, as well. Like, umm…OK, that’s pretty much the extent of right-wingers’ understanding of the Bible.

Did you know, though, that there is more to the book than the wildly-misrepresented same-sex boom-boom verses in Leviticus? It’s true–we checked! The Bible says “no” to a lot of other things, too. Yes, it’s true that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross means that we are no longer under the particular set of laws that covers many of them but the thing about cherry-picking verses from Leviticus and the rest of the Old Testament is that if one irrational, invalid, and downright stupid “law” is valid the rest must be, as well!

Here’s a short list of some other things the Bible bans — but Bible-thumpers often do anyway!

14. Cheeseburgers

Leviticus 3:17

It shall be a perpetual statute for your generations throughout all your dwellings, that ye eat neither fat nor blood.

Cheeseburgers are full of fat, which is a no-no according to Leviticus!

13. Bacon

Leviticus 11:7

And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.

Who doesn’t love bacon, right? Well, the Bible doesn’t!

12. Blended Fabrics

Leviticus 19:19

Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

Like polyester blends? Well, God doesn’t. You’re going to Hell, sinner!

11. Tearing Your Clothes

Leviticus 10:6

And Moses said unto Aaron, and unto Eleazar and unto Ithamar, his sons, Uncover not your heads, neither rend your clothes; lest ye die, and lest wrath come upon all the people: but let your brethren, the whole house of Israel, bewail the burning which the LORD hath kindled.

Yeah…it’s happened to all of us. We’ve all torn a shirt when it snags on something, or fallen and ripped the knee of a pair of pants. Well, according to the Bible…we’re gonna die!

10. Going to Church After giving Birth

Leviticus 12:2

Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.

Leviticus 12:4

And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled.

Leviticus 12:5

But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.

Women have it rough according to the decrees set forth in the Good Book. If your first instinct is to go to church and show off your new baby, though, you are doing it wrong! Interestingly, you need to stay away from church TWICE as long if you squeeze a little girl our of your sin oven. Your baby can go, but you can’t.

9. Creating Idols, or “Metal Gods”

Leviticus 19:4

Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.

So…about all those Jesus statues and pendants…

8. Trimming Your Beard

Leviticus 19:27

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

Ever thought of giving the old beard a trim? Well, sinner, G-man says “no” to that! At least we know the Duck Dynasty guys are fine…

7. Tattoos

Leviticus 19:28

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Sometimes, you get the urge to pop down to your local tattoo artist and show your love for Jesus by getting his image forever imprinted on your chest. Well, we have some news for you…

6. Mistreating Foreigners

Leviticus 19:33

And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.

Boy, if only right-wing Christians actually read their Bibles…

5. Rounded Haircuts

Leviticus 19:27 

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

Hey Ben Shapiro…you’re going to burn for all eternity…for more than just your haircut.

4. Remarrying After a Divorce

 Mark 10:11

And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

Hey Newt…we have some bad news for you….

3. Pulling Out

Genesis 38:9

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

Genesis 38:10

And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

Not everyone wears a condom…but if you choose not to, you’d better be willing to go all the way with it or you’re gonna BURRRRNNNN.

2.Wearing Gold

1 Timothy 2:9

“Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”

Ladies, pack up your gold and pearls…because Jesus no likie!

1. No Alcohol in Church

Leviticus 10:9 

Do not drink wine nor strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation, lest ye die.

OK, God, you’re confusing us now. Is Communion OK, or not?

Leviticus 19 verse 28

Leviticus 19 verse 28

Tattoos and Christians – Should Christians Have Tattoos?
By Mary Fairchild from “About Christianity.com”

Question: Tattoos and Christians – Should Christians Have Tattoos?
What does the Bible say about tattoos? Is it a sin to get a tattoo?

Besides looking into what the Bible says about tattoos, together we’ll consider the concerns surrounding tattooing today and present a self quiz to help you decide if getting a tattoo is right or wrong.
Answer: The answer, I believe, is yes and no.
To Tattoo or Not To?

This is a question many Christians struggle with. I believe tattooing falls into the category of “disputable matters” where the Bible is not clear. But wait a minute, you might be thinking. The Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” (NLT) How much clearer can that be?
It’s important, however, to look at the verse in context. This passage in Leviticus, including the surrounding text, is specifically dealing with the pagan religious rituals of the people living around the Israelites. God’s desire is to set his people apart from other cultures. The focus here is prohibiting worldly, heathen worship and witchcraft. God forbids his holy people to engage in idolatrous, pagan worship and sorcery which imitates the heathens. He does this out of protection, because he knows this will lead them away from the one true God.

It’s interesting to observe verse 26, “Do not eat meat that has not been drained of its blood,” and verse 27, “Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards.” Well, certainly many Christians today eat non-kosher meats and get haircuts without participating in the forbidden worship of pagans. Back then these customs were associated with pagan rites and rituals. Today they are not.

So, the important question remains, is getting a tattoo a form of pagan, worldly worship still forbidden by God today? My answer is, this matter is disputable, and should be treated as a Romans 14 issue.

If you are considering the question, “To tattoo or not to?” I think the more serious questions to ask yourself are: What are my motives for wanting a tattoo? Am I seeking to glorify God or draw attention to myself? Will my tattoo be a source of contention for my loved ones? Will getting a tattoo cause me to disobey my parents? Will my tattoo cause someone who is weak in the faith to stumble?

In my article, “What to Do When the Bible is Not Clear,” we discover that God has given us a means to judge our motives and weigh our decisions. Romans 14:23 states, “…everything that does not come from faith is sin.” Now that’s pretty clear!

Instead of asking, “Is it okay for a Christian to get a tattoo,” perhaps a better question might be, “Is it okay for me to get a tattoo?”

Since tattooing is such a controversial issue today, I think it’s important to examine your heart and your motives before you make the decision.

Self Exam – To Tattoo or Not To?

Here is a self-exam based on the ideas put forth in Romans 14. These questions will help you decide whether or not getting a tattoo is a sin for you:
How does my heart and my conscience convict me? Do I have freedom in Christ and a clear conscience before the Lord regarding the decision to get a tattoo?
Am I passing judgment on a brother or sister because I don’t have freedom in Christ to receive a tattoo?
Will I still want this tattoo years from now?
Will my parents and family approve, and/or will my future spouse want me to have this tattoo?
Will I cause a weaker brother to stumble if I receive a tattoo?
Is my decision based on faith and will the result be glorifying to God?
Ultimately, the decision is between you and God. Though it may not be a black and white issue, there is a right choice for each individual. Take some time to honestly answer these questions and the Lord will show you what to do.

• Consider the pros and cons of tattooing with Christian Teens Guide Kelly Mahoney.
• Take an in-depth look at Tattoos and the Bible by Pastor Chuck Gerwig.
• Examine a biblical view of the question, Is Getting a Tattoo a Sin? by Robin Schumacher.
• Consider a Jewish perspective on tattoos.
• See what some Christian music artists say about tattooing.

A Few More Things to Consider

There are serious health risks involved with getting a tattoo:
• Possible Tattoo Diseases & Reactions
• Tattoo Health Risks
Lastly, tattoos are permanent. Be sure to consider the possibility that you could regret your decision in the future. Although removal is possible, it is more expensive

Tattoo U

Leviticus