Tag Archives: Sunday School

Heaven

A minister was testing children in a Glasgow Sunday School class to see if they understood the concept of getting into Heaven.

He asked them, “If I sold my car, all my CDs, books, iPad and PC, and everything I have, had a huge jumble sale, and gave all my money to charities and to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”

As one, the children yelled,”NO!!!”

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the Kirk lawn, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”

Again: “NO!!!”

By this time, the minister was starting to smile.

“Well then, suppose I was kind to animals, gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my wife, would that work?”

Again, they all answered: “NO!!!”

Now, the minister was bursting with pride for them

He continued, “Then how can I get into Heaven?”

A six year old boy shouted out…………

“Ye’ve got tae be deid furst!”

 

 

 

 

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what are we going to do with Keiran?

The Sunday School superintendent didn’t know what to do with Keiran.  He wasn’t the brightest of laddies and, although he was eager, he got most of the answers to questions about the Bible totally wrong.  ( eg – “With what did Moses part the Red Sea?” Answer: “with a sea-saw!”)  The Nativity Play was a matter of days away, and she couldn’t think of a part for him.

Then, fortuitously for her, one of Keiran’s Sunday School friends was stricken with ‘flu, and had to withdraw.  This boy was to have been the Innkeeper – and with only one line to deliver, “No, there’s no room at the Inn”, it wouldn’t be too much of a problem for Keiran to learn.  And learn it, he did – easily.  

The big day arrived.  The Minister, after the announcements, left the chancel area to the youngsters.  Enter Mary and Joseph…….  

They walked up to the Inn door, and “Joseph” knocked.  Keiran stood frozen to the spot, nerves having got the better of him.

“Please, Sir, my wife is about to have a baby”, said “Joseph”, “may we have a room for the night.”

Keiran hesitated, desperately trying to recall his lines.  But all that he could remember was, “No…”  And then hesitated. “Nope..” he tried again, then completely dried up.

“Joseph” looked at him for a moment, then desperately tried to improvise:  “have you got a stable round the back, then?”

Kern gulped nervously and again said “no…….

Exit stage left, “Mary” reduced to tears, to ask their pals what to do.

Someone suggested that they go back to Keiran, push him aside and force themselves into the inn.  So they did……..three wise men joined them, one of whom hit Keiran over the head with a gold bar, turning to the aghast audience, saying “It’s not real gold – it’s just a lump of metal wrapped in gold foil!”

At that stage, amongst the mayhem, shouting, and collapsing scenery, the organist started to play the tune, “Silent Night” , and the mums and dads and grandparents and brothers and sisters, muttered the words…”all is calm, all is bright…”

Peace, goodwill to all men

I understand that next year, Keiran will be one of the Angels (!), but without a speaking part.

 

 

 

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57 cents church

 

A little girl stood near a small church from which she had been turned away because it was too crowded.

‘I can’t go to Sunday School,’ she sobbed to the pastor as he walked by

Seeing her shabby, unkempt appearance, the pastor guessed the reason and taking her by the hand, took her inside and found a place for her in the Sunday school class. The child was so happy that they found room for her, and she went to bed that night thinking of the children who have no place to worship Jesus.

Some two years later, this child lay dead in one of the poor tenement buildings. Her parents called for the kindhearted pastor who had befriended their daughter to handle the final arrangements.

As her poor little body was being moved, a worn and crumpled red purse was found which seemed to have been rummaged from some trash dump.

Inside was found 57 cents and a note, scribbled in childish handwriting, which read:

‘This is to help build the little church bigger so more children can go to Sunday School.’

For two years she had saved for this offering of love.

When the pastor tearfully read that note, he knew instantly what he would do. Carrying this note and the cracked, red pocketbook to the pulpit, he told the story of her unselfish love and devotion.

He challenged his deacons to get busy and raise enough money for the larger building.

But the story does not end there…

A newspaper learned of the story and published It. It was read by a wealthy realtor who offered them a parcel of land worth many thousands.

When told that the church could not pay so much, he offered to sell it to the little church for 57 cents.

Church members made large donations. Cheques came from far and wide.

Within five years the little girl’s gift had increased to $250,000.00–a huge sum for that time (near the turn of the century). Her unselfish love had paid large dividends.

When you are in the city of Philadelphia , look up Temple Baptist Church , with a seating capacity of 3,300. And be sure to visit Temple University, where thousands of students are educated.

Have a look, too, at the Good Samaritan Hospital and at a Sunday School building which houses hundreds of beautiful children, built so that no child in the area will ever need to be left outside during Sunday school time.

In one of the rooms of this building may be seen the picture of the sweet face of the little girl whose 57 cents, so sacrificially saved, made such remarkable history. Alongside of it is a portrait of her kind pastor,

Dr. Russell H. Conwell, author of the book, ‘Acres of Diamonds‘.

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You’d Never Believe It!

Little Johnny was in Sunday school and his mother came to collect him. “Wow!,” exclaimed Johnny as he settled himself in the car, “that story of Moses and all those people crossing the Red Sea was something!”

“Tell me all about it,” said his mother. “Well, the Israelites got out of Egypt, but Pharaoh and his army chased after them. So the Jews ran as fast as they could until they got to the Red Sea. The Egyptian Army was getting closer and closer. So Moses got on his walkie-talkie and told the Israeli Air Force to bomb the Egyptians. While that was happening, the Israeli Navy built a pontoon bridge so the people could cross over. They made it!”

The woman was shocked, and asked, “Is that the way they taught you the story?”

“Well, no, not exactly,” admitted Johnny, “but if I told you the way they told it to us, you’d never believe it.”

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