Monthly Archives: November 2016
A strange one….yesterday I conducted a wedding at a local popular venue. First of all, the couple were delightful & the guests lovingly supportive toward the bride and groom…..but, …
Source: Strange days
A strange one….yesterday I conducted a wedding at a local popular venue. First of all, the couple were delightful & the guests lovingly supportive toward the bride and groom…..but, here’s a thing: after the ceremony and the signing of the legal papers, having wished the couple well, on my way out I said to the company that I hoped that they would have a great celebration at the reception & a safe journey home. Added my thanks for their being there to rejoice with the bride and groom on that particularly happy day…… and got a round of applause!
But that’s not the strange bit. Before the service, I chatted to a new member of staff. Was asked if I were a minister (the dog-collar should have been a giveaway!) Answer: ‘yes – Church of Scotland’
‘Are you allowed to get married? Or have sex?’
‘Yes, but I’m a widower’
‘Are you in a relationship?’
‘No. And who would want a 69 year old wee fat man who is retired?’
‘Unless they’ve got loads of money’
‘You’re retired – does the Church still (?) give you a car?
“No, I’ve got my own”
“What kind?” ………..
…… so, after the ceremony, he follows me into the car park to look at my Jaguar – and asked if he could reverse it.
Saved by the piper – escorting the marriage party out. He had to dash back to get on with work.
Strange. Very strange
So, this guy dies…….
……and wakes up on a beach.
The weather is hot, the sea is turquoise and warm, beautiful girls are playing beach volleyball, barbecues everywhere, laughter and joy.
All of a sudden, Satan comes up to him.
“Welcome to Hell. Enjoy yourself, have a drink, have a hamburger and check out the area. If you need anything or have a question, feel free to ask me.” he says.
The guy walks along the beach, has a few drinks with a nice girl.
He walks over a hill, when he sees a hole in the ground, full with tormented people, flames rising up from the hole.
The guy runs towards the beach until he finds Satan.
“Hey, I found this hole and all these people are being tormented… What’s that about?”
“Oh”, Satan says:
“That’s for the Christians, they want it that way.”
This is real – oops! the church where it is situated should have looked more closely at the design, before commissioning it.
Maybe it’s the Anglican version of halal – it might refer to the way the pigs were slaughtered. Allowed to die of boredom while listening to an interminably long sermon.